That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
