random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
