Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize