I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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