OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
