my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
