Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
