Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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