I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Im part way to drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
