Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
