$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
