But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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