I think scott just propositioned me for sex
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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