It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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