Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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