Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
