I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
