Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
