there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
