Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
