omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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