There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
