I must be too annoying 4 u.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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