your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
