Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
