I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize