I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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