You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
