quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
