So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
