The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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