I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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