We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
