Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
