does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
