i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He shit in the fireplace
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
