I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
