Porn is love you can see.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
