I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize