whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
