His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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