if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
