Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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