my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
