very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize