i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
