dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
