Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
