Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
