bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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