To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my moral compass just broke
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
