whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
