So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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