Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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