what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
