a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
