can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
