I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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