He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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